Posts by Lauren

If any of you have been reading my posts lately, you know that I'm a LONG way out from getting engaged.

But, when given the opportunity to review this book, I thought, what the hell.

If I can get over my alcoholism long enough to survive a first date, let alone a relationship, maybe, just maybe, I will be engaged in my lifetime.

At which point I will be able to say to myself, "Good thing I read Michael Batsaw's, 51 Things You Should Know Before Getting Engaged."

The book is a quick, easy, practical read, a perfect coffee table addition at just 5" x 5" in every soon-to-be engaged girl's fave - Tiffany's blue.

No yoga moves are needed for this one.

Just a bathtub, a removable shower head, and well, another type of head.

Sorry, couldn't resist.

I think the image explains it all.

You'll think of your bathtub in a whole new way.

You're welcome.

Think $171 + is a shit load for a La Perla bra?

How about $9,000 + for a permanent bra that you wear underneath your skin?

Pioneered by surgeons in South Africa and now practiced in Europe, the Internal Bra Breast Lift, inserts a cone-shaped, mesh like material called Breform under your breast tissue to act as a permanent, internal bra.

According to Dalvi Humzah of Court House Clinic in the UK,

"Once it is fitted, over time the mesh gets incorporated into the breast, as the body produces a fibrous tissue that holds the structure in place - like a permanent bra under the skin" (Source: UK Daily Mail)

When I received an invite to BMF Media's Beauty Bar held at Townhouse Spa last week, it took me all of two seconds to respond, "Yes please!"

Beauty + Bar = Two of my BFFs.

Given the options of a complimentary blowout, manicure, pedicure or massage, I opted for the latter. And it's a good thing - it happened to be raining that day so all those suckers who signed up for nails regretted it.

While my partner in crime K and I waited for our much-anticipated rubdowns, we were escorted into the "Beauty Bar," which, to my delight - really was a bar. One Godiva liqueur-spiked cappuccino later (hey, a girl's gotta have her caffeine), I heard the heavenly call for my massage.

Fully thinking I was only getting a 10-15 minute chair massage, you can imagine my delight when I was led downstairs to the actual spa. Escorted into a soothing, candle lit room, I disrobed and happily wedged myself between the sheets on the massage table.

Nice. This is what I'm talking about.

Note to self: When calling a car service, it helps to know where the hell you actually ARE.

Another note to self: Wedging a menu between a door will not keep it from shutting.

There's really only one word to describe my life at this exact moment: tragic.

Where do I even begin....

Well, I suppose it all started last night at a cocktail party at Top of the Rock.

Three glasses of champagne later (and no dinner) E and I went to meet up with her boyfriend at the Black Finn.

Three (four, five?) glasses of wine later, E and her bf left, I stayed to finish watching the men's Olympic free skate with, oh, let's just go ahead and call him "ONS," E's bf's friend.

I was actually quite fine all throughout the Black Finn.

I was even fine when I went to a friend's bday party at Von shortly after (to which ONS tagged along).

I was still fine when, after the bday party (couldn't even tell you what time this was - 3am?) ONS and I left and, walking up Bowery, stopped into Phebes (you know, that weird pub/sports bar place across from B-Bar).

Yet another glass of wine down, and that was it.

Done.
Dunzo.
Plastered.

Veterans of the old marketing adage "sex sells," American Apparel, is expanding upon their controversial billboards to a new source of sex-citement: The Search for the Best Bottom in the World.

That's right Ladies and Gents, you, too, could have your best asset facing all of Houston Street in the near future.

Ok, well maybe not on a billboard, but at least online.

Two winners will be selected (I'm assuming 1 male, 1 female) to be the new derriere of American Apparel's intimates and briefs lines, featured in an online campaign.

Baby got back?

Hurry up, you've only got until the 21st to enter .

Why?

Because your mother will be proud.

When I got the opportunity to review a book for GC, I got mostly excited for an excuse to dig up an image of the original Book It! pin I used to get in elementary school.

Anyone remember this??

We'd get pins for every book we read (or something like that), and then you could redeem at Pizza Hut.

Those were the days. (And apparently, Book It's still going! Graphic has sadly changed a bit, but still the same gist.)

So down to the book. Adding More Ing To Your Life, by Gabrielle Bernstein.

Ok kids.

I've done some thinking.

And I've decided I'd have to be absolutely out-of-my-mind-el-desperado to see The Stalker again.

And while el desperado I may be, no amount of desperation can drive me to willingly start two and a half years of Stalker nonsense up again.

I haven't broken the news yet, but I'm hoping it doesn't lead to a box of dead roses showing up at my door on Valentine's Day accompanied by notes like these

Wish me luck...er more like, R.I.P.

Alright Ladies. Aren't we tired of the same old rose and chocolate routine?

While yes, roses are certainly romantic and hey, I've never turned down a box of Vosges Chocolate, wouldn't it be nice to receive what we really want for Valentine's Day?

I'm talking about that must-have hand bag, to-die-for pair of heels, day at the spa we've been dreaming about for months...well, you get the drift.

While your fuck buddy hubby may not be able to read your mind, let me introduce you to something that can: Wishpot.

Drop a hint and get what you really want this Valentine's Day using Wishpot wish lists. (He'll be happy for the help!)

The site is really quite genius as it lets you build wish lists from things you find anywhere on the world wide web. (As any smart shopper would agree, why limit yourself to one store when you can shop them all?)

Well, well well.

Look what popped up on my Macbook screen yesterday:

AIM IM with _______ 12/4/10 12:11 PM

STALKER: Hi lauren how are you? Let me first start off by apologizing for going mia. Ive been thinking of you

ME: I really don't know what to say to you
why did you stand me up?
12:30 PM

STALKER: I screwed up and was a jerk. No excuses, but id really like to make it up to u.
I wouldve reached out sooner but felt so stupid i never did
Since ive realized how much i miss u, im reaching out now
12:37 PM